By Chester Duke Carson

Nicolas Cage has a monopoly on the new movie scene this weekend. It’s been a while since the last time a new weekend batch of films brought all of one new movie to speak of. Well, I shouldn’t lie to you, there is another movie called “Everybody Wants to be Italian.” It opens on a whopping 98 screens. Have fun tracking that one down.

No, for all intensive purposes, this weekend is all about Nic Cage and his awkward hairdo (pictured).

“Bangkok Dangerous” is a remake of the 1999 version by the same name. In fact, the remake is directed by the same pair of Asian filmmakers who did the original (Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang). The pair also wrote the original, about a deaf-mute hitman living in Bangkok. As the hitman starts to become conscious of what he’s doing, his world begins to catch up with him.

Jason Richman (who wrote the recently released comedy “Swing Vote”) penned the script for the remake. And it would appear they’ve done away with the “deaf-mute” aspect of Nic Cage’s character. And as he says in this trailer, his name is Joe.

Actually, the full quote is, “My name is Joe. And this is what I do.” What he does, of course, is kill people. Sticking with the general theme from the original, Cage’s Joe starts to develop some morals when he meets a couple folks he actually comes to care about while on a job in Bangkok. And yes, one of these people is a cute lil’ gal he has a crush on.

So that’s the gist of it. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing it this weekend for next week’s review. I like Cage more than most. More importantly, though, I’m ready for a good action film. While “Babylon A.D.” was okay, it won’t be hard for Nic Cage to erase any memories left in my head from last weekend’s Vin Diesel effort.

That’s it for what’s debuting… so I’ll leave you with this: David Duchovny is a sex addict. Discuss.

By Chester Duke Carson

To my 4-7 readers (depending on which poll you believe), apologies for Friday’s absence. I had to fly to Denver last Thursday; my buddy got hitched over the weekend. I even had to give a speech!

Still, I left you high and dry in the “debuting this weekend” department. So, today, a quick look back at the weekend’s box office and a few quick words on the two new releases I checked out on Labor Day.

There were essentially 3 new movies in theaters this weekend:

1.     “Babylon A.D.”  - With none other than XXX himself, Vin Diesel. I submitted my review to my editor last night (it’ll be posted Thursday over at Club Hooligan). It’s not a great movie, which shouldn’t shock you. But, perhaps shocking to at least some degree, it ain’t horrible either. Random oddity: this preview is pretty much copied and pasted from the first 2 minutes of the actual movie.

2.     “Traitor” – Personal favorite Don Cheadle (pictured) plays a devout Muslim torn between his faith and his morals. Think “The Bourne Identity” meets “Syriana.” I double-featured this one. What can I say? The show times lined up perfectly… no time to actually go out and pay for it! Cheadle is fantastic and the story is captivating and put together in a fashion that keeps you on the edge of your seat. It’s definitely a movie that should provoke thought and conversation for those that see it together. Too bad I went alone. Curious? Here’s the trailer.

3.     “Disaster Movie” – Ugh. I actually got to choose between this one and Vin Diesel for my review. I’ve never been more relieved to pick Diesel. Last check at Rotten Tomatoes revealed that every single critic chiming in on “Disaster Movie” hated it. It’s alarming how fast they’re able to make these movies. The previews show you they’re referencing every movie that came out this summer. Think about that! Frankly, you should feel like a complete pawn if you’re giving your money to the makers of these disastrous movies.

As for how the newbies did at the box office?

Vin Diesel’s name was enough to get “Babylon A.D.” the #2 spot behind Ben Stiller’s “Tropic Thunder.” Don Cheadle, as mentioned in this space several days ago, doesn’t have the box office appeal of the Diesels of the world; “Traitor” opened at #5. In Cheadle’s defense, though, “Babylon A.D.” opened on over 1,000 more screens than “Traitor” did.

“Disaster Movie” somehow bilked folks out of almost $6 million, debuting in 7^th place. I hope you weren’t one of the folks contributing to that total!

By Chester Duke Carson

I wanted to catch it on the big screen. I didn’t. Last night, I wanted to watch it on DVD. I did… but it sure took a while.

That’s what happens when you have a moody DVD player that refuses to acknowledge some DVDs, seemingly at random. On about the 10^th try getting the DVD player to read “Street Kings,” I got as far as the previews before the main title menu.

And then it spit “Street Kings” back out at me once again, sighting some sort of “disc error.” Yeah, DVD player, well guess what? The iMac read it just fine. So after some rearranging of furniture, I did finally see “Street Kings.” As long as I waited to finally see this LAPD crime drama, I didn’t have to wait hardly a moment to start feeling conflicted about the actual film.

Keanu Reeves plays Detective Tom Ludlow (pictured). He’s a dirty cop. Don’t worry, though, because he’s just part of an entire unit that’s dirty. I have to think an actual LAPD detective might take offense at how the police department is portrayed in “Street Kings,” because they’re not just dirty, they’re murderers. Reeves’ Ludlow, I guess, is our hero but it’s an odd feeling when the first scenes show the hero flat-out murdering about 5 “suspects” and then planting evidence. He’s doing it to rescue two kidnapped little girls.

So does that justify his killing of the suspects without ever questioning them?

It gets worse from that point on. Ludlow drinks (and drives) on the job, beats people with phone books, and even says things like, “We’re the police. We can do whatever the hell we want.” And in “Street Kings,” written by James Ellroy and Kurt Wimmer, he’s right.

Most of the fun in “Street Kings” is had in unraveling the twisted, seedy world of Ludlow’s unit, so I don’t want to spoil anything for you. Suffice it to say, though, that eventually Ludlow – by default – is the most heroic of this collection of characters. Well, young Detective Diskant (Chris Evans) is a good man, too… but like many in this movie, his life comes to a bloody end.

“Street Kings” is worth watching if for no other reason than that it’s unique in its lack of a true hero.

It’s too bad they ended it the way they did, though. Any scrap of credibility the story had left is flushed down the toilet with the final line from Captain Biggs (“House” star Hugh Laurie).

Oh, and I dare you to find a more creepy-I-look-like-a-pedophile mustache than the one Jay Mohr sports.

By Chester Duke Carson  

Alright, so this really doesn’t count. But, since I normally post on Tuesdays I didn’t feel quite right just ignoring the blog. So after tossing around a few ideas as to what to write about, I saw an ad on the TV for “Street Kings.” 

It’s on DVD! 

I remembered how excited I was (and wrote about in this space) for its theatrical release, mostly because this preview was so downright exhilarating. Wow, just watched the trailer again. And, again, I’m stoked. 

Thankfully I also looked up the nearest Blockbuster store earlier tonight and the card I have - issued to me at the downtown Juneau store years ago - worked!

So, I’ve rented “Street Kings.” It’s just past midnight, and I’m popping it in. Feel free to come over and watch it with me. 

Is that weird to say that? 

In any case, I’ll post again tomorrow with more in depth thoughts on Keanu Reeves’ latest. Was it worth the wait? 

By Chester Duke Carson

Let’s dispense with the pleasantries, shall we? There are too many new movies this weekend to dillydally!

Up first: “The House Bunny” - If you’ve seen the trailer, you know it looks like 2008’s version of “Legally Blonde.” And, just like that movie (the original, not the stupid sequel), this one might soon be a guilty pleasure for the guys and a top-fiver for the gals. Anna Faris has been carving out a nice career for herself in various comedies; this story about a playboy bunny who gets kicked out because she’s too old at 27 might be her stepping stone to the A-List. And yes, Rumer Willis is Bruce’s daughter.

Next, “Death Race.” I’ve been on board for the pre-hype, thanks mostly to a very entertaining preview. Early word isn’t great, though. Still, Jason Statham and Ian McShane are cool cats. Mindless action-violence? Maybe. Is that so bad, though? Maybe one of you can let everyone know how it is…

Third up is “The Rocker.” Hey, new episodes of “The Office” don’t come back until September 25^th so I’ll take Dwight Schrute any way I can get him. Even if it’s in a silly comedy about a 40-something former rocker named Robert Fishman (pictured). Jim Halpert was a letdown in “Leatherheads”; I didn’t see Michael Scott in “Get Smart”; I’ll fill you in on how Dwight does next Thursday.

Finally, Ice Cube stars as a football coach in “The Longshots.” It’s about a girl who winds up being the star quarterback of a Pop Warner football team. Um, yeah right. Sorry. Actually, the only reason I’m including this one is because of how bizarre the credits are.

Again, it’s a family movie about a girl playing football. It stars former badass – and current owner of zero street cred – Ice Cube. Guess who the director is. Go on, guess. How about Fred Durst? Yes, that Fred Durst.

So there you go. Three new movies and one straight out of Bizarro World. See you at the box office!

By Chester Duke Carson

“The Dark Knight” is currently at about $473 million at the U.S. box office. My $10 got it there. Or at least they helped.

Yes, I finally saw the 2^nd most popular movie of all-time (no, I still don’t think it’ll reach “Titanic”). So, after waiting four weeks to finally see the movie that I’ve personally heard about 88 people praise glowingly, what did I think? It would inevitably be a letdown, right?

Wrong.

“The Dark Knight” is without question a good movie. Period. It’s a good action movie, but it’s also just a good movie. Certainly, it’s too scary and violent for some folks, but I honestly can’t see a reasonable argument on the “this is a poor film because…” side of the coin. Can you?

I won’t bother with storyline, since it’s safe to assume if you have a pair of eyes you saw it before I did. Still, Christopher Nolan’s script (co-written with his brother, Jonathan) is tight and intricate. We are re-introduced to characters we’ve seen before (Jack Nicholson’s Joker in 1989, Tommy Lee Jones’ Harvey Dent in 1995), yet it’s so dramatically different this time around that it matters not one bit we’re retracing our steps.

Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) is nothing like the previous version. Thankfully, both of Nolan’s entries in the Batman franchise have felt much more like Tim Burton’s efforts than the cartoons Joel Schumacher put out. Consequently, Eckhart’s Dent is much darker than Jones’ goofy, brightly colored version was. Eckhart is on his game, too. His transformation from heroic Harvey Dent to the angry and breathtakingly ugly Two-face is believable.

Make no mistake, though, “The Dark Knight” is all about the late Heath Ledger (pictured). He’s scary good. He’s also just scary. And I actually found him funny at times, which is something many have said he lacked.

I’m hopping on the Oscar-for-Heath bandwagon.

So there you go, the same weekend “Tropic Thunder” finally took down the Batman, I finally saw it and in the day’s the-sun-will-rise-tomorrow news, I liked it a lot.

Just someone, please…. Please! Please, please, please tell Christian Bale to stop talking like that when he dons the suit. Maybe that’s what his mom and sister were doing when he (allegedly) assaulted them?

By Chester Duke Carson

Another Friday, another collection of new movies in a theater near you. Ben Stiller’s back for another double-dip effort as director and star (his movie actually opened on Wednesday), “Star Wars” continues (sort of) and Kiefer Sutherland becomes the latest actor to try his hand at scaring the be-jeezus out of you.

Word from the powers that be at the Hooligan is I’ll be watching the continuation of “Star Wars.” The twist is that this one has no actors (and I was so looking forward to the unintentional comedy provided by Hayden Christensen). “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” is animated. Yep, there is officially now a “Star Wars” cartoon. I haven’t heard anything about the geeks of America uniting to camp out in line for this version of their beloved Star Wars, though. I’m far from an expert on Anakin Skywalker and company, but I’ve seen all the live-action films so I don’t think I’ll be lost. Here’s a preview. Can you tell I’m less than enthused?

Ben Stiller’s last double-dip effort was 2001’s “Zoolander.” If I had to estimate, I’d say “Zoolander” played from start to finish at least 54 times in our sophomore dorm room. Safe to say, there was no more concentrated a locale than Forest Grove, Oregon that year to find immature young men quoting Derek Zoolander and Hansel (Owen Wilson). The point is, I’ve enjoyed Stiller’s work before and I’ve read nothing about “Tropic Thunder” to lead me to believe it’ll be anything short of hilarious. Cameo alerts: Tom Cruise and Matthew McConaughey. Still, not everyone is exactly excited about some of the humor in “Tropic Thunder.”

Finally, if you are wired to jump at spooky things on the big screen, there’s “Mirrors.” That trailer features Amy Smart’s reflection tearing her own jaw open. Ewwww! Count me out on this one – at least for now. Eventually I can’t help but to succumb to my morbid curiosity about these films, even though the freak me out. Oh, just noticed the last name of the characters in “Mirrors”; it’s the same as the one on my driver’s license. That can’t be good.

Anything tickle your fancy?

And no, I still haven’t seen “The Dark Knight.” Yes, it’s still in my plans.

By Chester Duke Carson

The first question is, “Do you know who Don Cheadle is?” You should. Not only is he handsome (pictured), he’s also one of the most talented actors working today. The trouble with Cheadle, at least in the eyes of some in Hollywood, isn’t his skill set – it’s that for whatever reason, he is not a box office leading man.

My two cents? He should be.

In the last five years alone, Cheadle’s work includes a starring role in “Crash” (Winner: Best Picture Oscar – 2006) and the headlining role in “Hotel Rwanda” (Cheadle was nominated for the Best Actor in a Leading Role Oscar - 2005). So, yeah, the dude can act. He also made co-star Adam Sandler seem like a serious thespian in 2007’s “Reign Over Me.” Here’s the cruel irony: None of these movies made money at the U.S. box office.

“Crash” barely topped $50 million, “Hotel Rwanda” couldn’t crack $25 million, and “Reign Over Me” – even with Sandler’s name attached – didn’t even sniff $20 million! (Note: box office numbers courtesy of boxofficemojo.com.)

If you’re wondering where the “Ocean’s” movies are in this discussion, they don’t count. Yes, Cheadle is in all three films as part of George Clooney’s crew. However, those films were hits because of the whole package (star studded cast, ground-breaking directing from Steven Soderbergh, etc.). Cheadle was simply part of the equation. Also, I’m not counting “Ocean’s 12” against Cheadle. Everyone deserves a pass for some mistake they made in life, well, I’m giving every single person involved with “Ocean’s 12” a pass.

I digress.

Here’s why I’m brining the Cheadle question up. In a few weeks (August 27^th), a film called “Traitor” hits theaters everywhere. If you liked the “Bourne” movies with Matt Damon, if you enjoy spy thrillers with intelligent and intricate plotlines, if you don’t select the films you go to based only on the “star,” I implore you to consider checking out “Traitor.”

I can’t guarantee it’ll be good. All I can do is point you in the direction of its enticing trailer and refer you, once again, to Cheadle’s track record.

Maybe you don’t care about Done Cheadle… but perhaps you should.

By Chester Duke Carson

I admit it. I forgot movies were opening on Wednesday this week. Just out of curiosity, though, can someone tell me why movies opened on Wednesday this week? What’s so special about the 6^th of August? Or were they afraid the Olympics starting in Beijing would interfere with opening night box office returns?

Alright it probably wasn’t that. I am curious though. Is there a holiday I’m failing to remember?

This week/weekend is essentially about two new movies. Previews have been ubiquitous the past several days for both. One, like “Mamma Mia!” for all the weeks leading up to its release, probably made young men across the country fight their gag reflex; the other probably had those same gents turning to their buddy and saying, “Dude, that looks hilarious!”

The gag reflex flick: “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2”

That’s right. “2.” It’s a freaking sequel. Four girls somehow share a pair of jeans that fits them all even though they’re very differently proportioned from girl to girl. Granted, I don’t have as much credibility talking macho about this stuff after borderline-praising “Mamma Mia!” a couple weeks ago, but c’mon! Even my girlfriend is annoyed by these previews. And we both love Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel). I’m relieved to tell you I’m in no risk of uttering “I liked it” about this one because I’m not reviewing it!

Crisis averted.

I am reviewing new film #2, the stoner comedy “Pineapple Express.” Judd Apatow, who’s suddenly Mr. Comedy in Hollywood, co-wrote with Seth Rogan, who also stars. Judging from the trailers, though, it would appear it’s Rogan’s co-star James Franco who makes the movie promising. Oh, and yes, that is Rosie Perez you see in the preview. I didn’t know she was alive either.

Both new releases outdid “The Dark Knight” on Wednesday, although Batman already leapfrogged “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2” (man, it’s annoying just typing out the damned title!) to take back the 2^nd spot at the box office on Thursday. The smart money says by weekend’s end “The Dark Knight” will once again be on top of the box office.

I still don’t think “Titanic” has anything to worry about. As always, your comments welcome!

By Chester Duke Carson

Note: (No, I still haven’t seen “The Dark Knight.” Although I think I’m going to have to very soon. Friends are questioning my commitment to movies. Blog posters are questioning my sanity.

By the way, after being outdone by “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” on Friday, “The Dark Knight” quickly got back on top on Saturday and has once again entrenched itself in the top spot at the box office. $400 million and counting.)

Now, on to “Step Brothers.” The previews didn’t lie; it’s funny. And thank goodness – I really didn’t want to have to write Will Ferrell off completely. If “Step Brothers” were as bad as “Semi Pro” I might have had to do just that.

Ferrell co-wrote “Step Brothers” with Adam McKay, who directed it. In other words, creatively speaking it was the same recipe that brought us 2004’s “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgun

dy.” Quite honestly, if you don’t love that movie, then your sense of humor is like my cat’s loyalty: non-existent.

Besides McKay and Ferrell, “Step Brothers” also once again proves that John C. Reilly is a brilliant comedic actor. More than once during the movie I found myself daring to wonder if Reilly might actually be funnier than Ferrell.

And then came the scene where the two 40 year-old step brothers go to their job interviews as a team. That’s when Ferrell, as only Ferrell can, starts telling the interviewer, “Shut your mouth.” She is of course shocked, and when she starts to speak again, Ferrell – with a straight face, mind you – says again, “Shut… shut your mouth. Just shut it.” There’s no actor on the planet that has the I’m-going-to-insult-you-with-a-straight-face-in-a-ridiculous-manner routine down as well as Ferrell.

The whole ensemble is good, actually. The movie works, though, because Ferrell and Reilly clearly enjoy one another and subsequently have golden comedic chemistry.

A quick shout-out to Adam Scott, who plays Ferrell’s jerk of a little brother. He’s excellent and one of those guys who you know you recognize from other movies… even if you have no idea what his name is. Well, it’s Adam Scott.

My only real issues with “Step Brothers” were that they might have been a little too liberal with two things:

1.     F-bombs: I’m not saying potty-mouths aren’t funny. I’m just saying… there’s such a thing as too much.

2.     Balls: I pity the prop-guy who one day likely heard these words from his boss: “Hi Bob, I need you to make Will Ferrell’s testicles. Okay, see ya.”

 All in all, though, I’m just happy I can now erase “Semi Pro” from my memory bank.